Published: Verve Magazine, December 2013 (Nerve/Trend)

Any social climber worth her salt knows that you can’t ever be seen enjoying a movie premiere or its after party. It’s scoring the secret after-after party invite that catapults you into the big league

Every girl dreams of the invitation-only invite. The kind that has a security code or a special key, or a map to a secret location; which means that you are someone special, or at least special to someone important. Subterfuge of some sort would be necessary for the kind of party that only a select few go to – for the kind of party that everyone including the media is dying to get into, but can’t. To get there though, you have to know which party to miss. For instance, plebeians die to get into a movie premiere. But really important people never really have time to sit through an entire film viewing. If you actually watch the film, you don’t exhibit the kind of class required to be a red carpet personality. Anyone who makes an appearance on the red carpet for a movie premiere is only doing it because they owe the producer one, or are a friend of the lead, or they are dying to be in the director’s next film. What they will undoubtedly do is beat a quick retreat from the back exit set up just for that purpose. (The wise reader never believes the reviews they spout to the media about how great the film is.)

So if you aren’t the person the paparazzi is tracking, then you have a decision to make. Will you be the non-entity actually watching the film, or will you be preparing yourself to hit the celebration bash? Every movie premiere has an after party. To celebrate the success…because the producers already knew the film would be hugely appreciated before the premiere! It makes one wonder – does the hype sell the film or does the film make the hype? Anyway, there is an enormous after party, where the Who’s Who of the fraternity must be seen in attendance. The booze is flowing, the people are making merry, but suddenly, once the paparazzi have got their entry photos, it seems that the revellers are once again, non-entities. Middle-aged men, dupatta-twirling women seem to be hitting the dance floor and all the pretty people have mysteriously disappeared or bypassed the event entirely.

There is only one place they could be at: the secret after-after party. You need to be in the know to know about the location and time of this happening. Generally starting in the wee hours of the morning, this is where the show hits the road. Booze of a different dimension, party elements in their element, over-the-counter offerings and clandestine liaisons. Only the in-crowd and their trustworthy buddies can ever see the inside of this party. Held in the suite of the hotel where the after-party was hosted, or at the director’s house, or in some special inner private room, the movers and shakers are moving and shaking here. So when I got my special invite to the after-after party – I knew I’d arrived. I didn’t even look for the movie invite. Who wants to watch the film when you can be a part of the show?