“In the services one defined themselves by what one did and stood for, and that does someone more good than being dependent on possessions, especially those handed down to you. Our self- confidence came from ourselves, it was partially a nomadic life, thinking was the best way to travel, movies could be watched under umbrellas in the rain, and one was inculcated with a sense of pride”. – Tarun Tahiliani, designer

Were you aware that the celebrated designer and his sister, Tina, who runs the country’s foremost multi-brand designer store, Ensemble, both hail from a defence background? Their father, Admiral Radhakrishna Hariram Tahiliani, served as the Chief of the Naval Staff of the Indian Navy and as the Governor of Sikkim. Far more than you may realise, the great names of art and culture, fashion and television, corporate anchors and CEOs owe their allegiance to a background of serving the country. (See box for Bollywood’s army kids)

When you observe the way in which these young men and women deal with the pressures of public life, the way in which they remain calm under crisis or criticism, and have the patience and wherewithal to continue on a chosen trajectory, is seems to have a direct bearing on their powerful upbringing. Indian cinema actor, Anushka Sharma’s ability to respond with grace and restraint over the recent public scrutiny or Priyanka Chopra’s strong-willed endurance could be attributed to their upbringing. Former Miss India and Indian cinema actress, who once considered becoming an IAS officer, Neha Dhupia, is strong-willed and not easily moved. “I’m very stable as a person: when my head packs up my body takes over and when my body packs up my mind takes over. My Mom always says, ‘If it doesn’t kill you it only makes you stronger.’ My Dad always says, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff.’ My parents are humble, educated and unaffected by their surroundings. Being indecisive about things in life isn’t appreciated; it’s almost a sign of being foolish. It’s important to try – winning or losing isn’t important.”

The lifestyle, bordering on nomadic – as Tahiliani describes it – is bound to have repercussions – for most of them, the ability to make friends anywhere, to pick up and move on and remain disconnected from the trappings of setting roots, and treating it like an “adventure”, as stellar novelist, and Rajput army kid, Anuja Chauhan, puts it. It serves them well when dealing with fame, ephemeral industries, transitory jobs and new people. Indian cinema actress, Nimrat Kaur, who shot to fame recently with The Lunchbox, says “We never stayed in one place for more than two to three years. It keeps challenging your comfort zone. You need to make new friends and start afresh; you don’t have an identity you carry with you for years together.” Actor and activist, Gul Panag counts that she has been to 13 schools: “I’m still in touch with these friends. Having travelled so much, I do find it easier to view life as a wide canvas.” While Chauhan admits that “you get better at socialising, taking a deep breath, walking into a roomful of strangers and making friends with them”, she believes that not sticking around in one school impacts the chance of having deep friendships.

There is also a tolerance towards and the ability to deal with people, while fostering an innate sense of confidence and approachability. Says Kaur, whose father was a farmer’s son and didn’t have money for school: “The environment is extremely eclectic – people from all walks of life come in to the army to become officers. You are exposed to values from different cultures. Everyone has the same resources and furniture, is at the same level – it makes a difference to your worldview. As a girl I was never treated differently from the boys, you have the same responsibilities.” And they are definitely not shy talking to people. Chauhan agrees, “Army brats strut around a safe cantonment environment, and so they’re more confident – and more patriotic!”

Great mental strength and the ability to deal with situations bristling with tension give them staying power in industries that are cutthroat yet riddled with fragile and tenuous relationships. Gul Panag, whose father, H S Panag, is a general (retired) in the Indian Army, admits that having to deal with the fact that one of your family members may be posted to an area that is fraught with immense danger and dealing with the uncertainty that it creates, makes you mentally very tough. “The whole focus of putting country before self also creates a deeper sense of purpose and strength that is then evident in other areas of life as well – you are willing to take more risks, live life fuller and, of course, are also more grounded.” Perhaps this thinking gives Panag the ability to be outspoken on a public platform, the confidence to become an activist for social causes.

And along with that comes the actual physical strength – the training to keep going for long hours and withstand immense physical pressure. Army brats are all very outdoorsy, learning to swim and horse-ride at an early age, are automatically exposed to a wide range of sports and tend towards natural athleticism, even if all can’t eventually be the famous runner Milkha Singh or his golfer son, Jeev Milkha Singh. Or stunt star Akshay Kumar, for that matter! Panag started running when she was 16, inspired by her father’s passion for fitness. “He would often make an example of me to his unfit officers, comparing the fact that a 16-year-old girl could outrun them! The focus on fitness was certainly a way of life growing up, and it’s stayed with me always.” Kaur also stresses on the discipline that comes as a part of the culture, along with being physically fit – being physically on time! “My father was one of the fittest people I had known. It (the movie industry) is a physically exhausting field and being delicate takes that much longer to adapt to things.” Neha Dhupia is a regular in the Mumbai Marathon. “I never start or end my day without a run, even when I am travelling. Being in the (movie) industry you want to get away, to clear and relax your mind, not have it ticking like a time bomb.” Chauhan, who easily romanticises the cantonment life says, “I think the whole club-swimming pool-golf-course- embroidery classes-May Queen Ball culture is one of the best one could have those days.”