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sitanshi talati-parikh

sitanshi talati-parikh

Tag Archives: Verve Magazine

A Noisy Trend: Coffitivity

03 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Art, Literature & Culture, Publication: Verve Magazine

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Reviews, Technology, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, February 2014, Technology

There’s a new app on the market that accurately replicates coffee-shop murmurs while you work to help your creative juices to flow

Some like to work in silence, but apparently it’s an anathema for those who like feeling the heady buzz of sound. In an increasingly connected world, it seems that people are feeling more disconnected and alone. From quiet cubicles to work-from-home dens people don’t like to work in isolation. So to circumvent this, young professionals have taken to Coffitivity (coffitivity.com) like an only child takes to company. The online app provides three kinds of background noise. ‘Morning Murmur’ (a gentle hum to get the day started), ‘Lunchtime Lounge’ (bustling chatter of the lunchtime rush) and ‘University Undertones’ (the scholarly sounds of a campus café).

The noise that would be strange and annoying to someone who is passing by your workstation is actually strangely comforting while you work. While you would expect it to destroy your ability to concentrate, it actually soothes you and helps you focus better. Its tagline actually says, ‘Enough noise to work’! Their positioning relies upon research that states that ‘it’s pretty hard to be creative in a quiet space’, while a ‘loud workspace can be frustrating and distracting’, so they provide a perfect mix of ‘calm and commotion’ to replicate the environment in a coffee house. The sounds include those of clinking cups, cash registers and murmurs of conversation floating around you. It’s kept soft and muted in the background, is never invasive and a perfect sensory accompaniment to the steaming cup of your favourite brew.

With the strong coffee house culture flowing into India from Europe and America, many business meetings and discussions are held over a cuppa at a coffee shop. There is a pervasive ‘social’ feeling that allows for a discussion that isn’t held within a bubble. You don’t feel cut off from the world, you feel that you are a part of the world. There is a relaxed and casual attitude to a work discussion that you don’t get in a closed-door conference room.

While it forms a clever replacement to music that some people prefer while working, and it grows on you as you have it on, all I can say is that for someone who can be the most creative in silence, I felt a sense of relief and a lightness in my head when it was switched off. And really, nothing can replace the soft chirping of a real bird in the background….

A Noisy Trend: Coffitivity

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Publication: Verve Magazine

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Coffitivity, Technology, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, February 2014

There’s a new app on the market that accurately replicates coffee-shop murmurs while you work to help your creative juices to flow

Some like to work in silence, but apparently it’s an anathema for those who like feeling the heady buzz of sound. In an increasingly connected world, it seems that people are feeling more disconnected and alone. From quiet cubicles to work-from-home dens people don’t like to work in isolation. So to circumvent this, young professionals have taken to Coffitivity like an only child takes to company. The online app provides three kinds of background noise. ‘Morning Murmur’ (a gentle hum to get the day started), ‘Lunchtime Lounge’ (bustling chatter of the lunchtime rush) and ‘University Undertones’ (the scholarly sounds of a campus café).

The noise that would be strange and annoying to someone who is passing by your workstation is actually strangely comforting while you work. While you would expect it to destroy your ability to concentrate, it actually soothes you and helps you focus better. Its tagline actually says, ‘Enough noise to work’! Their positioning relies upon research that states that ‘it’s pretty hard to be creative in a quiet space’, while a ‘loud workspace can be frustrating and distracting’, so they provide a perfect mix of ‘calm and commotion’ to replicate the environment in a coffee house. The sounds include those of clinking cups, cash registers and murmurs of conversation floating around you. It’s kept soft and muted in the background, is never invasive and a perfect sensory accompaniment to the steaming cup of your favourite brew.

With the strong coffee house culture flowing into India from Europe and America, many business meetings and discussions are held over a cuppa at a coffee shop. There is a pervasive ‘social’ feeling that allows for a discussion that isn’t held within a bubble. You don’t feel cut off from the world, you feel that you are a part of the world. There is a relaxed and casual attitude to a work discussion that you don’t get in a closed-door conference room.

While it forms a clever replacement to music that some people prefer while working, and it grows on you as you have it on, all I can say is that for someone who can be the most creative in silence, I felt a sense of relief and a lightness in my head when it was switched off. And really, nothing can replace the soft chirping of a real bird in the background….

Cover Story with Priyanka Chopra: “Little Grown-Up Girl”

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Interviews (All), Interviews: Cinema, Interviews: Cover Stories, Publication: Verve Magazine

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Interview, Priyanka Chopra, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, Dec 2013 (18th year anniversary issue)
Photograph by: Dabboo Ratnani

Priyanka Chopra has had to take leaps and become an adult when her peers were bunking school. She’s tumbled into several coming-of-age moments; ones that define her and some that continue to plague her. The top-rung Hindi film actor and experimental singer opens up about her self-esteem issues, growing up, making mistakes and finding herself

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She’s sexy, glamorous and unbelievably graceful. As she walks into the cover shoot, every single head turns. And if you catch her eye, the look can be distant or it can pierce your soul, entirely dependent upon how interested she may be in knowing you. She’s warm but has her personal space and boundaries clearly defined. Her husky voice is muted, as she remains engrossed in long, involved conversations with her Verve cover co-stars, Karan Johar and Ekta Kapoor. Later, you struggle to reconcile the raw vulnerability of the girl to the exterior of this poised and spirited woman, as she reveals the moments of the past that define her today….

JUST INTO THE AWKWARD TEENS, I WAS VERY CONSCIOUS OF THE WAY I LOOKED. I was very dusky and skinny to my Punjabi family’s fair, fat and pretty. I always felt left out. With all those insecurities in mind, I landed up in America in high school (ninth grade), which took a big toll on me as a teenager.

TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL IN AMERICA IS JUST LIKE MEAN GIRLS, THE MOVIE. I came from Bareilly, didn’t understand anything and had so many emotional and self-esteem issues; and around me the girls looked so grown-up. I looked 12 to their 16. They were dressed up, developed, wore make-up, had blow-dried hair, and I was in pigtails. I realised that grooming is the only thing that will make you look the best that you can be and I started learning how to take care of myself.

THE WAY YOU LOOK, UNFORTUNATELY, MAKES YOU FEEL A CERTAIN WAY. Everybody doesn’t like certain things about themselves and as soon as you start accepting yourself for who you are, or be the best that you can be then you start feeling confident. It is something I still do. I have improved upon my skin, my looks. There is nothing wrong with that skin tone; in fact, I photograph really well because of it. But my skin, unlike Smita Patil’s beautiful duskiness, for instance, used to be an unclear dusky. I started taking care of it, which gave me a much clearer complexion; being more active and getting toned up so my body started developing the way I wanted it to; and I began wearing the right kind of clothes.

THE UGLY DUCKLING USED TO BE MY FAVOURITE STORY, BECAUSE THAT WAS MY STORY. In high school, in four years, from 13 to 17 I changed from that gawky teenager to Miss World. And yet, even as Miss World, I didn’t feel like a pari. I had major self-esteem issues because it was in my head.

I CAUGHT A TV SHOW, JUST THIS MORNING, WHERE THEY TALKED ABOUT ‘PLASTIC CHOPRA’ about how my body, face and hair have changed over the years. My knees were circled in one picture pointing out that they had more gradation in skin colour (2005) and they circled my knees now, saying ‘knees pe plastic surgery karvaiyi hai, colour badal gaya hai unka! (She’s had plastic surgery on her knees, their colour has changed.)’ It hurts me so much, because it’s taken so much of me to go from that ugly duckling to be who I am today, to be in the movie business. For all the young girls out there – moisturise every day and watch your skin become smoother and it will start glowing. It’s the little things and I learnt that over time. There was no one to teach me….

WHEN I BECAME MISS WORLD THAT WAS A BIG COMING-OF-AGE MOMENT FOR ME. Suddenly from a school uniform in the 12th standard I went to talking about the economy of Zimbabwe to the press of the world. How am I supposed to know that at 17? I had to grow up instantly.

THE MOVIE INDUSTRY IS A HARD PLACE TO BE IN WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE A MENTOR OR A BOYFRIEND, SOMEONE WHO IS PROTECTING YOU. At the ages of 18-20 I had to deal with people the way an adult would, and in the movie business you meet a lot of strange people. I had my mom with me, and even though she didn’t know the ways of the industry either, we both knew how to live life on our terms.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN FORCED OR COERCED INTO DOING SOMETHING. I know how to protect myself as a woman. Even if it’s a big film, I know how to say no if I feel uncomfortable. Every movie that I have done has been an experience in making me the actor that I am today. Sometimes it’s hard, because it’s a male-dominated world. But nothing in life is worth your self-respect or your dignity.

I HAVE MY VALUES VERY INTACT. I HAVE A LOT OF COURAGE OF CONVICTION. EVEN IF I MAKE MISTAKES, THEY ARE MINE. I stand by them and I will take the lynching and the shooting and stand in front of the squad and say, ‘I did this. Now shoot me. I am not a saint. I haven’t come here to be one, and no one can be.’ I am someone who is happiest when I make people happy.

I HAVE A REALLY FIERCE SENSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, WHICH DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DRAW LINES AND STAY WITHIN THE PARAMETERS OF WHAT IS SAFE. I won’t say, ‘Yeh laxman rekha hai, and I won’t cross it.’ I am adventurous in life and I have done so many things out of my comfort zone whether it is my career or my personal life. But I stand by them. I don’t feel like I regret even the bad phases of my life. I may have wanted them not to happen. But I have never been ashamed of anything I have done.

I AM MOST UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN I AM IN GREY SITUATIONS. I am a very black-and-white kind of person. I need to make parallels and flow charts. I need to know life is headed a particular way; I need to know what is going to happen; I need to be prepared. But life is not like that, it throws googlies at you regularly…and I get thrown off. I am a very sensitive person, hugely emotional. Every time life throws a googly at me, I come of age. I grow up a little bit more.

THE ONE THING I MISSED OUT ON IS COLLEGE LIFE; MY MOM FEELS THAT THAT IS HER BIGGEST REGRET FOR ME. Bunking classes and running off with your friends. I never had that. I feel like I am regressing now, though. I am also a private, shy person. With my work I take all the risks, but with my personal life I am afraid to take the leap.

I’M LETTING LIFE PASS ME BY BECAUSE I ADORE MY JOB. It gives me the greatest joy, but maybe ten years down the line I will think, ‘I wish I had taken that holiday….’ I haven’t taken a holiday in 16 years. This phase – as you are talking to me – is a coming-of-age phase. I am happy and content professionally; I am blazing my own trail…whether it’s the wrong path, failure-ridden path, successful path…I don’t know. But at least it’s my own. I’m not following norms. It’s more fun that way. I always like running…or flying! I don’t ever want to take any steps back for any reason.

MY DAD’S GOING MADE ME GROW UP A LITTLE BIT. It’s too soon so I haven’t dealt with it in a way, but that changed me a lot. I’m still processing it. I will always remember my post 20s beginning like that.

MY 20S WERE VERY TURBULENT. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted to be…not that I know now, but I am a little closer to understanding it. I know what I don’t want. You start living with an acceptance of who you are.

Chasing the Sunrays

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Interviews (All), Interviews: Travel, Publication: Verve Magazine, Travel Stories

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Interviews: Travel, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, December 2013, Scapes/Travel

How does one curate the hottest party destinations of the world? Simple – you ask the DJs. An all-male eclectic group of local and international music producers and disk jockeys pick some of their favourite places to party, some of which they have played at, often for hours at a stretch. Don’t be surprised to find the usual suspects and be willing to discover unheard-of secret spots: from the Praia Brava coastline of Brazil to the beaches of Goa; from electronic dance music and house to hip hop….

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SLEEPLESS IN LAS VEGAS: DJ AQEEL

REVERED PARTY SPOT
Las Vegas. All the clubs are simply mind blowing with the best DJs in the world playing the most amazing music, in particular: Marquee, Hakkasan and XS.

IT ROCKS BECAUSE
Every one is here to party and have a good time… making it by far, the best city in the world.

MEMORABLE TAKE-AWAY
I learnt how to play Texas hold ’em poker!

NON-STOP PARTY METER
A night out normally lasts three or four hours; I go to Vegas every year without fail.

HIGH NOTES
It is mostly hip hop and house, but amazing music.

THE MOOD
The energy of Vegas, the city that never sleeps, is incomparable. No place can match up to it.

ON THE WISH LIST
I would love to play in Ibiza – another very cool party destination.

VISIT
Las Vegas all year round and Ibiza from June till September.

FAVOURITE PARTY SPOTS
Miami, Ibiza, St Tropez, London.

LOCATION DETAILS
Marquee: marqueelasvegas.com, Hakkasan: hakkasanlv.com, XS: xslasvegas.com

GETTING THERE
Virgin Atlantic flies into Las Vegas from Mumbai with a stopover in London (partially operated by Jet Airways).

Personal mantra: Expect the Unexpected.
DJ Aqeel is a prolific international DJ, and has played twice at the World Economic Forum in Davos (Swiss) representing India and entertaining the likes of Bill Clinton and Kofi Annan. As a producer, his remix albums have sold over seven million copies worldwide; he has also introduced the first ever DJ-owned record label in the country under the brand Power Play Records. He’s behind The Super Club in India, with nightclubs like Poison, Bling and Hype.

LIFE’S A BEACH IN GOA: NIKHIL CHINAPA

REVERED PARTY SPOT
Zanzibar, the beach shack on Baga beach, is one of a few. I’ve also done some amazing gigs in Manipal, Indore, Baroda and Bengaluru…there’s something special about playing to your home crowd.

IT ROCKS BECAUSE
It’s a magical feeling playing music on a beach, looking out at the sunset and the ocean. It’s therapeutic and sublime… makes you feel that all is well with the world (even if it’s not).

MEMORABLE MOMENT
The amazing crowd we had in 2007/2008. Those were undoubtedly some of the best years we’ve had at Zanzibar.

NON-STOP PARTY METER
Six hours a day for five days straight.

HIGH NOTES
Beach house music: it has an easy tempo and brings out the smiles.

THE MOOD
It’s on a beach in Goa…

VISIT
December 30… every year.

LOCATION DETAILS
Zanzibar is on Baga beach, outside Mambos in Calangute.

GETTING THERE
Most local airlines fly into Goa daily from Mumbai and Delhi.

Personal mantra: Nothing brings people together like dance music.
MTV mascot, DJ, VJ, promoter, festival director, radio host, dance music fanatic, Nikhil Chinapa wears many hats. At MTV, Chinapa has hosted almost every show the channel has aired. Chinapa and his company, Submerge Music, is known for having been instrumental in bringing the most prominent DJs to India and is credited to be a pioneer for EDM in India. Married to DJ Pearl, he also hosts a popular weekly radio show called Together.

NON-STOP DANCING IN IBIZA: ANISH SOOD

COOLEST PARTY LOCATION
Definitely Ibiza (the third largest Balearic island in Spain).

IT ROCKS BECAUSE
It has a phenomenal vibe. Clubbing drives the entire island’s revenue and everything around it is designed to ensure you have the best nightlife experience ever – with the scale of the clubs and lineups. It is a pilgrimage every serious dance music fan must make at some point of time in their lives.

MEMORABLE MOMENTS
The amazing sunrise and sunset views.

NON-STOP PARTY METER
I was at one party from 3 p.m. until 5 a.m., so that’s 14 hours straight!

MUSICAL NOTES
Different clubs play different styles, though it’s all primarily dance music, ranging from commercial and funky house to deep house and techno.

THE MOOD
Loud music, colourful drinks and a lot of pretty people everywhere.

COMPARABLE PLACES
I hear Las Vegas has now become the new Ibiza.

NOSTALGIC TRACK
The Keys by Matt John.

VISIT
June-September.

ALSO LOVE PARTYING AT
Shanghai for the super vibrant and diverse cultural atmosphere it has, Amsterdam during the dance event week and Berlin for its industrial techno clubs.

GETTING THERE
Fly into Spain on Jet Airways or any European carrier (with a stopover in Europe). From Madrid or Barcelona, the local carrier, Iberia, flies regularly into Ibiza.

Personal mantra: It’s all about stage presence and audience interaction.
Anish Sood, 23, has releases on labels around the world, playing over 70 gigs a year, selling out the biggest clubs and festivals including Sunburn, NH7 Weekender and Invasion Festival and performs alongside some of the biggest names in dance music. His debut EP Wanna Be Your Only Love was aired on Armin van Buuren’s A State Of Trance and a music video released nationwide on VH1. Hear him live 6th – 8th of this month at the Enchanted Valley Carnival, Aamby Valley City.

LIVE THE MOMENT IN WARUNG: DJ DEMI

REVERED PARTY SPOT
Warung (South of Brazil, just north of Florianopolis).

IT ROCKS BECAUSE….
It’s an Indonesian hut, warung, along the Praia Brava coastline with 3,000 of the most beautiful people spilling onto the beach, dancing like there’s no tomorrow. The open-air structure at the back of the venue is also in line with the sunrise with a breathtaking view. Not to forget the beaches, the food, the weather, the hospitable people. And hang-gliding!

MEMORABLE MOMENT
I was performing for their New Year’s Eve show, and I didn’t know that this night in Brazil is celebrated with everybody dressed in white, a superstitious belief to symbolise a fresh start, a new chapter, a new year. I’ll never forget the view that particular night when I walked into the DJ booth and was faced with a sea of white in front of me that stretched as far as the eye could see towards the horizon. I stepped up in view of thousands of people, dressed like the ‘grim reaper’.

NON-SPOT PARTY METER
A whole weekend!

THE MOOD
There’s a strong sense of ‘living’ in the moment especially in the southern regions of Brazil. At the same time, I’ve also felt at my most calm and serene state of being. There’s an infectious vibe that reverberates all around you.

NOSTALGIC TRACK
Playing Aztec Knights of the Jaguar at Warung reduced me and pretty much everyone in the club to tears.

VISIT
Anytime between November through March.

ON THE WISH LIST
A six-week music festival called Kazantip, which is held on the northern coast of the Black Sea in Ukraine near the Crimean peninsula. Everyone I know has come back blown away by the experience.

LOCATION DETAILS
Warung Beach Club, Av José Medeiros Vieira, 350, Praia Brava, Itajaí – SC, Zip Code: 88306-800. Phone: (47) 3348-7643. Web: Warungclub.com.br/en/warung

GETTING THERE
European airlines like Lufthansa will take you as far as Rio de Janeiro, after which the local TAM airline will fly into Florianópolis. Warung is approximately one hour by car from there.

Personal mantra: To give you what you want, not what you expect.
London-based DJ and producer, DEMI, has worked his way up from the open-air venues in Bali in 2000 to the milestone achievement of a Radio One Essential Mix with the SOS project; with two critically acclaimed SOS compilations Balance 013 & Ministry of Sound presents SOS; along with a sonic collage of the seminal deep house label, Alola Record’s rich back catalogue entitled Sounds like Alola Volume 2.

The Secret Key

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Publication: Verve Magazine, Social Chronicles

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comment, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, December 2013 (Nerve/Trend)

Any social climber worth her salt knows that you can’t ever be seen enjoying a movie premiere or its after party. It’s scoring the secret after-after party invite that catapults you into the big league

Every girl dreams of the invitation-only invite. The kind that has a security code or a special key, or a map to a secret location; which means that you are someone special, or at least special to someone important. Subterfuge of some sort would be necessary for the kind of party that only a select few go to – for the kind of party that everyone including the media is dying to get into, but can’t. To get there though, you have to know which party to miss. For instance, plebeians die to get into a movie premiere. But really important people never really have time to sit through an entire film viewing. If you actually watch the film, you don’t exhibit the kind of class required to be a red carpet personality. Anyone who makes an appearance on the red carpet for a movie premiere is only doing it because they owe the producer one, or are a friend of the lead, or they are dying to be in the director’s next film. What they will undoubtedly do is beat a quick retreat from the back exit set up just for that purpose. (The wise reader never believes the reviews they spout to the media about how great the film is.)

So if you aren’t the person the paparazzi is tracking, then you have a decision to make. Will you be the non-entity actually watching the film, or will you be preparing yourself to hit the celebration bash? Every movie premiere has an after party. To celebrate the success…because the producers already knew the film would be hugely appreciated before the premiere! It makes one wonder – does the hype sell the film or does the film make the hype? Anyway, there is an enormous after party, where the Who’s Who of the fraternity must be seen in attendance. The booze is flowing, the people are making merry, but suddenly, once the paparazzi have got their entry photos, it seems that the revellers are once again, non-entities. Middle-aged men, dupatta-twirling women seem to be hitting the dance floor and all the pretty people have mysteriously disappeared or bypassed the event entirely.

There is only one place they could be at: the secret after-after party. You need to be in the know to know about the location and time of this happening. Generally starting in the wee hours of the morning, this is where the show hits the road. Booze of a different dimension, party elements in their element, over-the-counter offerings and clandestine liaisons. Only the in-crowd and their trustworthy buddies can ever see the inside of this party. Held in the suite of the hotel where the after-party was hosted, or at the director’s house, or in some special inner private room, the movers and shakers are moving and shaking here. So when I got my special invite to the after-after party – I knew I’d arrived. I didn’t even look for the movie invite. Who wants to watch the film when you can be a part of the show?

Beauty From Another Border

09 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Features & Trends, Interviews (All), Interviews: Cinema, Interviews: Cover Stories, Publication: Verve Magazine

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Katrina Kaif, Trend, Verve Magazine

Published: November 2013, Cover Story, Verve Magazine

Indian cinema has become a multi-ethnic turf with the foray of Eurasian or non-Indian fair-skinned brunettes. The film industry continues to open its arms to a posse of beautiful foreigners, which may be a sign of globalisation or reverse exoticism….

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“I have never believed that I’m better at my work, more famous or more beautiful than my Indian colleagues, even if I look different.” Yana Synkova Gupta, Czech model and item number girl, formerly married to an Indian, once said to Verve. The Indian film industry continues to be a leveller, an industry of opportunities – allowing for the foray of international faces into its desi waters. Far before the country opened up its economic arms to globalisation, women from abroad found themselves trying to woo the Indian audience, with varying results.

Possibly the first grand entry into India cinema of a foreigner was that of ‘Fearless Nadia’, born Mary Ann Evans in Australia, but brought up in India. With her theatre and circus background she carved a unique spot for herself after being introduced to Hindi films by Jamshed Wadia of Wadia Movietone in 1935. The tall blue-eyed blonde ‘Hunterwali’, held her own in Indian cinema for over three decades. Raj Kapoor brought a Russian circus down in Mera Naam Joker (1972) and Kseniya Ryabinkina, the fair maiden therein who won his heart on screen, was one of the early entrants to Indian cinema, albeit in a blink-and-miss role. While women from the subcontinent have found presence for a long time, hardly any actress made a major impact, until two Nepalese girls who studied in India (though separated by decades) came to the fore: Mala Sinha and Manisha Koirala. It may have helped that they could easily be mistaken for local artistes (much like the Sri Lankan Jacqueline Fernandez today). And who can forget how Burmese actress and dancer, Helen Richardson, set the screen on fire with her sensational moves? With over 500 films to her name, she is the one who created a unique space for special dance or ‘item’ numbers in popular Indian cinema.

Today, the roster of international faces hails from all over the world including remote Eastern European countries to the big Western ones. In Thomas Friedman’s ‘flat’ world, you find markets becoming interchangeable: Hollywood is realising that India is a huge audience for their films while Indian cinema is growing all over the world because of the number of Indians living abroad. Globalisation and the exposure of Indians at home to foreign cinema and television over the last couple of decades have provided access to visual material featuring people of different races – making it more acceptable to be admiring of or drawn to them.

WHY INDIA?
India’s thriving film industries are a big market for aspiring actresses. International, non-Indian models already here, like Yana Gupta or Giselli Monteiro, are looking for opportunities to break into the small or big screen – in the way Saif Ali Khan’s former-love interest, the Italian Rosa Catalano, once attempted. Those who are ‘discovered’ from abroad, like Rockstar’s Nargis Fakhri and Madras Town’s Amy Jackson are willing to take a chance to become popular in a foreign country. Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa runner-up, the American Lauren Gottlieb, who is a natural brunette, says most people wonder whether she has any Indian roots. Add dark hair and good looks to the Indian desire for fair skin, and you’ve got a Katrina-Kaifesque winning combination. It is harder to stand out in one’s own country than it is to gain exotic recognition abroad.

Hindi cinema director, Imtiaz Ali, who has cast foreign faces in two of his movies, believes that signing an actress from abroad can be more economical than hiring an established actress from India. “What you would pay a foreigner would be the same as a new person in India, with the added advantage of a fresh face. The only difference being, if you have specially invited the person here for an acting role, you would be responsible for providing them their life here – the travel, the lifestyle.”

So you have Eurasians, women with Indian roots or origin, eager to give it a shot, even if they, like the Indo-German Evelyn Sharma, have been discovering their roots for the first time (and for the longest time believed that biryani was a German dish).

SPEECHLESS NO DOUBT
Unlike Kalki Koechlin (born and brought up in India to French parents), most actresses of foreign origin struggle with the language issue. Hindi – or any Indian language – isn’t easy to learn. It isn’t remotely like any other foreign language and tends to form a natural barrier to success in Indian cinema. Brazilian model, Giselli Monteiro, played the role of an Indian in Imtiaz Ali’s Love Aaj Kal (2009) because she had no major speaking role. Ali points out: “Speech makes a huge difference; while feelings are much the same way in any part of the world. Punjabis felt that Monteiro really looked like a local girl.” The success of this casting probably led Ali to offer Pakistani-Czech model Nargis Fakhri a chance to play the lead role in his next venture, Rockstar (2011). A complete unfamiliarity with the language and culture led to Fakhri floundering in the lead role and facing a lot of flak. In the recent Madras Café though, she moves forward to play an English-speaking Indian girl from London, therefore with an admissible accent. Lisa Ray, born in Canada to an Indian father and Polish mother, had her stint in Hindi and South film industries, but her inability to speak Hindi possibly deterred her from moving further, leading her to English-speaking cinema, including working with director, Deepa Mehta (Water).

Except for South Indian cinema where dubbing is more acceptable – British model, Amy Jackson, regularly has her lines dubbed – it is likely that language will continue to play a major hindrance until Indian films are made in English. As Koechlin points out, “It is fine in the beginning, a beautiful face and then somebody else’s voice; but it becomes tough to relate to the celebrity who doesn’t speak your language and that’s when they lose contact with the audience.” Born in small-town Germany to a German mother and Indian father, Evelyn Sharma, who didn’t know a word of Hindi when she came to India, underwent exhaustive Hindi training to know it well enough by the time she started her first movie, From Sydney With Love (2012).

And what about body language? In an inherently visual medium like acting, the body language plays an important role in conveying the character’s emotions. Imtiaz Ali admits that the criticism he received on casting Fakhri – while he still stands by his casting decision – is that her body language was innately Western. “She wasn’t Hindustani. The way her mouth shaped and moved when speaking the local language was innately alien and disconcerting. When she was talking in English it was fine, but the rest of the time, the cultural heritage was missing. So in general, a foreigner can’t be as believable when speaking in a foreign language. Janta can’t accept ki yeh hamari ladki hai.”

AH, KATRINA
A British model who spoke not a single word of Hindi and couldn’t dance at all now reigns supreme in the Indian film industry. Born Katrina Turquotte, the arresting girl began her modelling career in Hawaii at the age of 14 and made her debut in Kaizad Gustad’s box-office dud, Boom in 2003. (Incidentally, a year after, Kaizad Gustad faced jail time for the accidental death of British-Pakistani crew member Nadia Khan, on the sets of his film Bombay Central).

Working in South Indian films and in Hindi cinema, Kaif clawed her way up the movie reels through sheer grit, determination and – if such a thing exists – luck. And yet, while she has turned detractors into admirers, is considered a bankable star, has made it to Power lists (including Verve’s 2013 power cover) and has heavy endorsements; industry insiders (like director, Imtiaz Ali) doubt that she can hold her own against an Indian Kareena Kapoor Khan when it comes to the quality of roles offered, because Khan is a local girl who gets all the local nuances.

There has been speculation of Kaif’s origins – despite being a gorgeous brunette, there are talks that the Kashmiri link doesn’t actually exist, it’s just a clever marketing ploy to not alienate the Indian audience and create a foundation of acceptance. Which may be why there is a surge of Eurasians attempting to try their luck in Indian cinema. Even Ali admits that Fakhri’s Pakistani lineage played a significant part in casting her as the lead in his movie, Rockstar (2011).

With support from her then boyfriend and industry stalwart, Salman Khan, and a fierce desire to succeed by observing her co-stars, Khan and Akshay Kumar, Kaif has the learnt the ropes and knows how not to drop the ball. She has a fierce regime – exercises brutally, never stops her dance practice, has managed to master Hindi far better than Sonia Gandhi in a far shorter time and is her own best PR manager. So is Kaif an anomaly or an inspiration? She is both. There possibly will be many years before another Katrina Turquotte may become the Indian superstar Katrina Kaif, but she will serve as inspiration to many aspirants until that happens.

REALITY-SHOW DIVAS
Foreigners undoubtedly add the great masala element and exotic appeal to reality television and hope to have it kick-start their celluloid career – in much the manner that Shilpa Shetty managed to work the British Celebrity Big Brother 5 television show in her favour. While Indo-Canadian adult film star, Sunny Leone’s racy presence in the Bigg Boss house led to her being cast in Hindi films, Yana Gupta became a household name after Fear Factor – Khatron Ke Khiladi (2008) and Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa – 4 (2010) despite being introduced way back in 2003 with the Babuji song in Dum.

But the greatest success story in recent times is possibly that of professional dancer and choreographer, Lauren Gottlieb, a finalist in Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 6. The hit American reality show, So You Think You Can Dance (2005) star and Hollywood actress got a break in Bollywood with UTV Motion Pictures emailing her to play the lead in Remo D’Souza’s 3-D dance film, Any Body Can Dance (2013). She hasn’t had a moment to look back since.

BEST FRIEND, VAMP OR ITEM GIRL
Jerry Pinto’s Helen: The Life and Times of an H-Bomb examined the unequivocal charisma that the Burmese dancing sensation brought to the fore. ‘Helen was the desire that you need not be embarrassed about feeling…because there was something about her that transcended the tawdry clothes, the bizarre make-up, the invasive camera angles, the inane lyrics and the repetitive choreography and suggestive movements.’

Today, the foreign girls that are a part of Indian cinema often get relegated to risqué roles, or the best friend, or the vamp with one sensational item number. In the recent Prakash Jha film, Satyagraha, Eastern European model, Natasa Stankovic, is introduced in a dull number and an equally dull performance. A choli, a bare midriff and gyrations do not a successful item girl make. Actresses like the Arab-Brazilian Bruna Abdullah have been relegated to smaller roles – the hero’s fling in I Hate Luv Storys (2010) and item numbers like the popular Subah Hone Na De from Desi Boyz (2011); while the Mumbai-born, foreign-raised Indo-Australian Lisa Haydon got recognition as a model and is now finding small roles in movies like Aisha (2010), where she plays a New-York return to explain away the accent.

Through popular demand, Sunny Leone gyrated to Laila, an item number in this year’s Shootout at Wadala. Even the Sri Lankan beauty queen, Jacqueline Fernandez, does a choli-and-ghaghra number with Jadoo Ki Jhappi in Ramaiya Vastavaiya, in an attempt to woo over the local audiences. Is an item number a foolproof method of instant recognition, or does it relegate them to sleazy status? It’s a fine line between maryada and besharmi that very few manage to get the better of.

GOING BIG TIME OR STAYING SMALL
Are these women being relegated to item girls because they have a particular kind of body and are more likely to wear skimpier clothes? Does it appear that they would more easily be cast as the lead actress’ best friend or the girl the hero has a casual fling with, because our version of Western morality being such, Indians are likely to be more convinced that the foreigner is of easy virtue? Indian actresses aspiring to become leads may also be less willing to ruffle the feathers of the audience’s ethics – they would like to be thought of as pavitra; leaving a greater opening for foreigners to capitalise on to become the audience’s fantasy.

Evelyn Sharma initially wondered whether people would accept her in Indian cinema – “Even though I had signed five different movies I was worried people might slot me into the ‘foreign girl’ role.” Even Koechlin admits that she had to refuse a lot of film offers that had come her way because they were the background dancer or the vampy extra white girl. It was only after proving her acting prowess in edgy and risqué roles in movies like Dev D (2009) and That Girl In Yellow Boots (2010) that Koechlin began to play strong character roles in mainstream Indian cinema like those in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011) and Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani (2013). In a move that suggests that she is the only actress to successfully shuttle between playing Indian, semi-Indian and foreign roles, she is soon to essay the role of Victoria Ocampo, Rabindranath Tagore’s Argentine writer muse, on stage in Manav Kaul’s Colour Blind, speaking in five languages.

CAN ANYONE MAKE IT HERE?
Whether you face judgements from the audience or you have to work doubly hard to prove your mettle, it isn’t as simple as talent reaching great heights. Lauren Gottlieb, who probably has had to counter more challenges than others, says, “I don’t think anyone can make it anywhere. You have to view everyone individually. You have to have the guts, determination. It’s one thing to be a good-looking face and try to make it but when you have dedicated your life or career to something and studied for it, that’s when you rise. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world; I was rising in Hollywood – I didn’t know I would rise over here! You have to be fearless. I’ve been challenged with rapidly adapting culturally, language-wise, dance-style-wise…. It’s scary sometimes, but if you tackle it, you can succeed.”

Geographical barriers are one thing. Culture and language is another. The former is pretty much redundant; the latter can be circumvented. In a country that is exorbitantly heterogeneous with an inherent love for things foreign, there can only be more opportunities for the ones that strive to make it here. Maybe all that’s required is what Raj Kapoor popularised in Shree 420:

‘Mera Joota Hai Japani,
Yeh Patloon Englistani,
Sar Pe Laal Topi Rusi,
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’.

SHORT-TERM IMPORTS
A brief moment in Indian cinema

1. While Uruguayan-Mexican model and actress, Barbara Mori set the screen on fire in Kites (2010), there was no room to have her back because she was introduced as a foreigner.

2. British roses Rachel Shelley (Lagaan) and Antonia Bernath (Kisna) only served to play a specific foreign part in their respective films.

3. British models Aruna Shields (Prince) and Sofia Hayat (Diary of a Butterfly), South African model and Playboy cover girl Candice Boucher (Aazaan) debuted in Bollywood but have yet to make their presence felt.

4. The Norwegian-born, Iranian actress Nigar Khan known for the Chadti Jawaani video and the Australian actress Tania Zaetta (Bunty aur Babli and Salaam Namaste) haven’t had any takers so far.

5. The British model with an Indo-Mauritian mother, Hazel Keech, who acted in Bodyguard (2011) and Tamil film Billa (2007), popped into Bigg Boss 7 last month; but beat an early retreat.

AMY’S WAY
Verve cover girl, British model, Amy Jackson on becoming a desi heroine

“It is unbelievable that I was asked to play top lead roles in films where my lines have to be dubbed!”

She’s petite for a British girl, has stunning eyes and a persistent sniffle at the cover shoot in Kashmir. When she turned 21, she felt she was growing old – and yet, she’s just embarking on a journey in Indian cinema.

The fresh-faced Amy Jackson got noticed in Hindi cinema for her role in Ekk Deewana Tha (2012), where she played a Christian girl opposite Prateik. While the movie didn’t make waves, it served to bring Jackson, a British model, to the attention of the local audience. The 22-year-old equestrian was discovered by model scouts at the age of 15, soon after which she became a Miss Teen World (2008) and Miss Liverpool (2010), seeing her modelling career track across UK and Europe.

South-Indian-cinema director, Vijay (who thought she resembled Kate Winslet in Titanic), spotted one of her pageant images on the Internet and traced her to London. She was auditioned for the Tamil film, Madras Town/ Madrasapattinam (2010), in which she played a British girl. The movie was a super hit. It led to another film, Thaandavam and Jackson is now doing Telugu films, Yevadu (due to release soon) and Shankar’s Ai. “Ever since I got the taste of acting as the leading lady, I’ve never looked back,” she says.

Jackson travels all over for her shoots but has set up home in Bandra, Mumbai. She has made friends from the fashion industry and regards the South directors as her mentors. “When I first arrived I’d just turned 17…I missed my family and friends. I’m very lucky to have a supportive family: my mum travels everywhere with me, my dad has flown over to watch me shoot. For my first ever movie, my friends organised a premiere in my hometown, Liverpool, and that was the first time they ever watched an Indian movie…they loved it!”

She finds scripts from the South to be more exciting as they offer lead and meatier roles. “While they are beautiful actresses and great dancers, I wouldn’t like to be known as merely an item girl. Maybe after I have established myself as an actor I would consider it.” The young girl who turned vegetarian overnight enjoys a dash of Indian food – minus the spice. “On a Sunday I like to chill out and watch movies all afternoon. My Indian favourites include Jab We Met, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Ghajini.” While she offers that she is currently single, she laughs, “Male attention is the same world over.”

India has been “life-changing” for Jackson. “India excites me. There’s no place like it in the world, and my favourite part about it, is the people. The energy; the fact that Mumbai is constantly alive and buzzing. Even if it’s 3 a.m., I know that when I look out of the window I’ll never feel alone. It’s exhilarating! It’s such a welcoming place; I love calling it my home. When I am away, I also miss the sun…after all, we don’t get much of it in England!”

“I don’t see how an actress’ race or origin determines getting ‘propositioned’. I believe that things like that happen based on your character and how you portray yourself.”
– Amy Jackson, model and actress

A Bag On My Plate

08 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Fashion & Style, Publication: Verve Magazine, Social Chronicles

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Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, November 2013, Humour

For a vegetarian who extends her ideals to accessory shopping, the luxe world of gorgeous handbags doesn’t really hit the spot

I’m one of those grass-eaters who is really into the principle of things. It’s a simple equation – you don’t eat animals, you don’t wear them. It may sound noble, but saying ‘no’ to leather isn’t glamorous. You don’t get to carry egg-shell blue Pradas to work or stunning little Fendi numbers to night soirees and you definitely can’t teeter in those fabulous Choos as you try to hold down that glass of Prosecco. You defiantly clutch your faux leather bag and use it as a status symbol of your principles rather than the ability to wear fashion and money well. You are relegated to high street choices while requesting the high fashion brands to come up with at least one non-leather article of choice.

You have pretty nearly given up hope, when they do! You discover the Fallabella world of Stella (isn’t the rhyme just darling?) and dance a merry jig when Bottega introduces its line of satin and linen knots in gorgeous hues. You gaze adoringly at the bright canvas totes that suddenly appear on the shelves of Ferragamo, marvel at the sheer hardness of the Jimmy Choo acrylic clutches. And you really are a kid in a candy store when faced with the riot of colours offered in Furla’s line of PVC candy bags.

And so it happens. You fall in love. But you can’t fall in love after debating the vast range of choices – you fall in love with the limited options you have. Or you quickly go and buy all the limited options before they change their mind and start using hide exclusively. As you swipe your credit card you think that you are only supporting the cause – they need encouragement to keep up the good work. And, if all else fails, you send a silent prayer to the fashion goddesses above to understand the sheer excellence of choices.

But dead animals aside, candy, colours and acrylic make you feel youthful again. Isn’t that what bags and shoes are all about? As a little girl you wear your mother’s heels for the first time and carry a bag with your little-girl possessions tucked away carefully and do you ever grow out of loving the feeling of feeling grown up? And as you grow up and learn to prefer one brand over another, you treasure the moments that make you feel like a little girl with her first bag all over again. There are feelings, moments, emotions and a lifetime all clutched in a purse and you simply don’t want to let go. And whether you wish to wear an animal or not, the girl in you feels quite the same way about the bag.

Size Does Matter

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Humour, Publication: Verve Magazine

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Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Man Supplement, Verve Magazine, October 2010

When talking about one of the most important things about a man, it’s important to find the right size

Just the other day, I was at an event filled with oodles of beautifully turned out heterosexual males. While I know there are enough women out there who love their men all brawn with wife-beaters and torn jeans sitting atop a truck chewing hay, there is something poetic about a man impeccably turned out. Besides the fact that it’s more likely that he bathes regularly, it shows that he cares about the way he appears – he thinks about the exact fit of his suit as much as I would care about the cut of my dress. He isn’t a dandy – he’s eye-candy. And baby, there is a world of difference.

So while I was checking out these Baskin-Robbins’ Men, I noticed their shapes. Each one was a different one. Some had it long, some slender, some stubby and short, some boxed in and some entirely non-existent. It bothered me. I mean is there a perfect size and shape? Should all men be made the same – or should there at least be an ounce of difference to tell them apart?

I tend to lean towards the long and slender, but sometimes it can be too thin, you know? As you hold it in your hand, it feels like a string or a ribbon. You want something substantial, that when you hold it, it begins to state its presence, or you can command it by pulling it (and the man) towards you. (Ouch!) They used to be plump and thick earlier – but with men’s bodies getting slimmer and more well maintained, it seems to have affected the size too. Nowadays all you see are skinny ones and believe you me, they get thinner by the season.

Those short knobby ones don’t work either, they show more than they hide – and who wants to know what lies beneath? Ideally, when in use, it should be the size of his hand – from finger to elbow. No, that’s not too big, you need a little something to go all the way. And in width, it should be at least half your middle finger extended. And that’s not too much to ask for. And horror of horrors, there really shouldn’t be any visible blemishes when on display – that just shows that you can’t keep your things clean!

You can tell a lot about a man with the way he handles it. How coarse or gentle, how he smoothens out the rough folds, whether he can manage his dimple. And if it occasionally curves to one side, he should be able to know how to work it for the best result. There’s nothing like a straight cylindrical shape. And ground rules – it should always be restrained. Kept loose and flapping around like it’s about to attack isn’t friendly – it’s just not the way of polite society. I’ve heard there are contraptions that help keep it under control nowadays.

And how loud you want it to be depends entirely upon your personality. Can you handle the repercussions? After all, the tie maketh the man, and not the other way around.

Cover Girls: Kalki, Drashta & Natasha for Verve’s Annual Best Dressed Issue

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Fashion & Style, Interviews (All), Interviews: Cover Stories, Interviews: Lifestyle, Publication: Verve Magazine

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Best Dressed, Fashion, Style, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, October 2013

KALKI Koechlin
For her unconcerned, quirky sense of fashion. And her enviable midriff

Screen Shot 2017-08-20 at 10.48.21 AM

WILL NEVER WEAR An animal print leotard.

STYLE SOULMATE Gwen Stefani.

SENTIMENTAL INHERITANCE My paternal grandmother was very stylish and a model when young. She introduced me to style when I was 14 and had tons of cool stuff from the ’50s. I particularly love this burgundy-coloured velvet suit with big, puffy shoulders.

BANISH FROM BOLLYWOOD Sequins! My eyes are getting blinded!

FAVOURITE FASHION MOMENT Last year, in Cannes, when I wore Sabyasachi with a headpiece. It felt very elegant and original.

INTIMIDATED BY THE FASHION OF…. New York. I went for the first time this summer. Everyone looked stunning…so effortlessly cool, straight out of a magazine cover.

SOMETHING WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU…. I have fat ankles and chubby calves. No matter how much I run, it’s like God put cotton in them. Sabyasachi’s tight churidars simply won’t fit!

PLANNED DRESSER OR NOT? Not! I am a designer’s nightmare – I call them 24 hours before my appearance…asking for something amazing.

QUICK TRICKS TO ALTER THE LOOK OF THE SAME OUTFIT One popping out colour – red or pink shoes; a jacket; a bright bag. And I love hats! While I don’t much care for jewellery, I have one statement piece – a big Mother Mary cross, that’s like a piece of clothing in itself.

INDIVIDUAL DRESSING VERSUS TRENDS You can’t escape trends. It helps you discover new things – but it shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. And yet, your personality comes out in your styling – people judge you by the way you dress.

FAVOURITE DRESSING UP SONG OF THE MOMENT Bad Girls by MIA. It’s such a cool video – really gets me going.

A YOUNG DESIGNER YOU ARE IMPRESSED BY Nimish Shah. At his recent show, I loved his opening outfit – a burgundy velvet dress with white lace.

AN ETERNALLY FAVOURITE DESIGNER/LABEL Sabyasachi…and Urban Outfitters.

SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU, BUT YOU WISH IT DID Sporty clothes, tracksuits…I wish I could be like Eminem!

SARI ESCAPADES I wear a lot more saris than people know – in my theatre circle. I like hand-woven, khadi and natural fabric.

SOMETHING NEW IN YOUR WARDROBE An army jacket with big pockets from Zara.

========

DRASHTA Sarvaiya
For her combination of girlish femininity and androgynous toughness of spirit

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WILL NEVER WEAR An anarkali kurta.

STYLE SOULMATE Caroline Issa of Tank magazine and Because London.

SENTIMENTAL INHERITANCE My maternal grandmother’s jadau earrings made by a local jeweller in Palitana.

WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE IN BOLLYWOOD Garishness. I prefer old Hindi cinema – the ’60s films were stylish; today we consider their styles to be retro. In the future, our kids won’t consider the styling of films today retro or iconic. The character and originality is missing.

FAVOURITE FASHION MOMENT When Sarah Jessica Parker happened to see my collection in Paris and liked my clothes. She took my number from my agent – I missed meeting her, but loved that it happened.

SOMETHING WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU…. I am a foolishly romantic person.

DRESSING EXPERIMENTS My dressing style depends upon my hair! With long hair I prefer bifurcated garments and trousers; with a short pixie cut I prefer more feminine silhouettes.

ETERNALLY FAVOURITE LABELS Lanvin, Etro (for their paisleys), Mary Katrantzou (for artistic prints) and Vivienne Westwood (for wedding gowns).

SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU, BUT YOU WISH IT DID Micro-minis!

NEW IN YOUR WARDROBE A Marc Jacobs bag.

COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE Monogrammed bags!

=========

NATASHA Chib
For being a restaurateur with style

Screen Shot 2017-08-20 at 10.48.33 AM

SIGNATURE STYLE Somewhere between androgynous, street and tailored simplicity.

A FASHION NO-NO Clothes that are too tight.

STYLE SECRET THAT ALWAYS WORKS A scarf, an oversized light sweater and the colour black.

CURRENT WARDROBE FAVOURITE A floor-length grey cotton dress and the rediscovery of a red silk cape from Paris that is eons old.

RECENT SPLURGE A mini cream-coloured Chloe bag from Harrods.

FAVOURITE FASHION ERA I love the 1920s. It was so sophisticated while being completely frivolous at the same time. I’m a huge fan of Josephine Baker and she was an absolute icon and in her prime during that time.

AN OVERDONE TREND Oversized headbands and headpieces. I’m totally done with faux punk rock studs as well.

FASHION SOUL CITIES Paris and New York.

WARDROBE STAPLES A tailored jacket and a favourite white blouse for each day of the week.

WARDROBE TREASURES I only buy things that I absolutely love; it is rare that I pick stuff up out of need or necessity. For instance, I admire the way Balenciaga fits me, the unbelievable craftsmanship of my Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla pieces and the originality of prints of a David Szeto piece.

SENTIMENTAL INHERITANCE A very vintage emerald ring that my grandmother gave me.

Knotty Travails!

11 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by sitanshi talati-parikh in Humour, Publication: Verve Magazine, Travel Stories

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comment, Interviews: Travel, Trend, Verve Magazine

Published: Verve Magazine, Feature, September 2013

What is a wedding but meticulously planned theatre for those in attendance, finds an aunt who helps arrange her niece’s destination soirees. A peek into her diary…

Going to a destination wedding is always buckets of fun. Planning one – not so much. I recently had to help my sister plan one at an exotic Thai locale. The beaches are fantastic, we’ve heard. The waves under our already-wrinkled toes, the sun on our already-tanned skin; well it’s what children want nowadays. Vows by the sunset and chiffon frocks instead of Swarovski lehengas. Poor Tarun, Sabya and Manish – they are going to have to work doubly hard to sustain their bridal couture business. And all of us – having to go shopping for things that steer clear of our ankles and don’t have a shimmer on them. How plebian it is to have a subtle wedding. It’s a good thing everyone won’t be there….

The guest list – well one mustn’t go there. The wedding is quite nearly called off because of the guest list. It seems silly, but there it is. It reaches the point where there is some vicious discussion about killing off some relatives in a timely fashion. The parents have a pretty tight list of invitees – it’s true, they do want to invite their tailor and the step-aunt that lives in Kenya whom no one has ever met, but then you can only do the daawat once in a lifetime for your only child, right? (Even if it goes to a second marriage – generally the sho-sha is generously muted.) And really – the tailor has known the bride longer than the groom – he has been stitching her clothes since the time she has been in diapers – so who deserves to be there more?

With the parents arguing over how many weddings they had been invited to and attended, the bride and groom insisting that it is their moment and only people they really know and care about should be there; as most things do, it all comes down to the bill. After much bloodshed, tears of betrayal and the drama to befit a Balaji Diwali special, they whittle the guest list down to 300. Of which 150 are under 30 and 75 of whom are foreigners from places I can’t pronounce, much less find on a map. So that leaves just a few of us to carry on the tradition of bitching out the other side, gasping with a faux scandalised air at the youngsters and weeping at the vidaai.

The wedding ceremony is so quaintly poised on the water, while a dress circle seat is reserved for us on the waterfront. Along with the little booklet to translate the shlokas and vows, the considerate family has also organised binoculars for the audience. It’s nice – we have our own space, can peer into the binos when we decide to catch what’s going on – in between bites of Thai cake and spicy gossip – and give the family their privacy. That way the entire occasion remains a rather private affair – if having only 300 at an Indian wedding isn’t private enough. Tiny speakers dot the waterfront, where we can hear what the Pandit is saying – noting the large number of non-desis in attendance, he ups his tricks by adding flair and doing his own little broken-English translations. After all, what is a wedding but a meticulously planned theatre for those in attendance?

It’s all very well now, but getting Panditji here has been a task in itself. Now I’m quite proud of this – I organised this part of the journey. Panditji couldn’t travel to the destination alone, so I figured the saffawala (person who ties the turbans over the men’s heads) could accompany him. You mustn’t ask me whether they wanted to travel business class or not, but it is a special feat that I convinced them that economy is altogether better and safer. It turns out that the saffawala is quite a fellow. He’s rather in demand for this specialised art, and is hopping off to America before the ceremony has even ended. So Panditji and the saffawala end up having a favourable journey to the destination – it’s all in the stars, after all. I think they are now friends on Facebook

I need to track down the missing wedding photos – it was quite a sweet affair after all, what with the jello-shots and the beach raves. I couldn’t feel my toes after a point of time. Three months later, the photographer hasn’t sent us the photos yet. He is quite a spiffy number – doing mood shots and natural light silhouettes. I know it sounds like a condom ad, but photography these days is very different from our layered make-up, bright lights, hands-held-together poses, bling-and-click moments. It’s a bit wanton nowadays, to be honest. After my mother harassed me for photos, I began trying to track down this hotshot photographer. It seems he has been all over Europe attending functions and clicking away that he hasn’t had time to get home and regroup! So after basking in the Riviera sunshine, he has promised to send some over to us via ISendYou.com or something like that. Is it a specialised (and expensive) courier service? Will have to see how one can pick the photos up from there. Must share them with you sometime.

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