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sitanshi talati-parikh

sitanshi talati-parikh

Category Archives: Musings

lost in the bylanes of bandra

05 Monday Oct 2009

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mumbai, Thoughts

it used to be a joke – needing a passport to go beyond worli, but now i understand why it is so difficult to navigate the bylanes of my favourite suburb – bandra. While it is full of exciting little lanes and cafes, character and quaintness; it remains shrouded in inaccessibility. lanes map into more lanes, and turning from one bit just takes u into another. the grid is meaningless to an outsider.

and yet, as i made another attempt this weekend, armed with addresses and numbers, i began to realise that the more time you spend here, the more familiar it gets – having to stop at every lane and asking a rickshaw driver for directions notwithstanding!

essentially, bandra has character. u can spend ages sitting in a little cafe and watch the world go by, or you can wander through the lanes, and discover one something new at every turn. everyone seems to be going somewhere, and yet nowhere.

there’s an unhurried pace that differs from the city: it makes you want to stop. maybe its bandra, or maybe it’s the fact that 20 min outside the city and suddenly it’s a different world!

i love taking the sealink, it makes me feel connected to this place, this is little haven that is rapidly turning into an extension of the big city, losing its charm and becoming more…concrete…if that makes sense.

a weekend in the city

27 Sunday Sep 2009

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mumbai, Thoughts

i have always felt that to really get a break, you need to leave the place that you live in, and go somewhere else. that breaks the cord of attachment and helps get your mind free. just this weekend i discovered that that may not be necessarily true. i had a fabulous time, where I didn’t think about anything that would bog me down, because I behaved, for a day, like a tourist in my own town. I watched a play, ate dinner out, went somewhere else for drinks, hung out at a friend’s place, slept in, went out for brunch, and wrapped up with a 3D animated film. I would probably do one or two, or maybe even three of those things on a normal weekend, but not all. And coming together in a single day, where I don’t have to think about anything that matters, makes my mind feel so free. Sometimes, coming home can be fun and relieving, but sometimes, home can mean something much bigger – a life that you want a break from. There’s often nothing wrong with our lives, it’s how we pace ourselves and how seriously we take it. So often, our mind just needs to break free – whether it is for a few hours, or even for a day.

the pen or the star?

24 Thursday Sep 2009

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Bollywood, indiancinema, PR, Thoughts, Writing

just saw an old interview with aamir khan and imran khan on youtube where aamir made a very interesting observation. He said: when he had a debut film QSQT, there was only one channel and not much film coverage in major newspapers (basically no tabloids and gossip rags). A PR person tried to get some journalists interested in interviewing the new stars, but were not very successful. (Little did they know who they would have had the first digs on had they taken the bait!)

Ironically, today, with so many channels, publications and not to forget online media, there is a desperate quest for news – good, bad or ugly. Good journalism has been left far behind, now anybody’s uncle’s sister’s second cousin’s daughter … (u get my drift) is hot news. A starlet with a buxom bust is the hottest thing in town, before she has even done anything to prove herself. Not only are people looking for space-fillers, quantity has overtaken quality.

Reality TV has added another dimension: your next-door neighbour could be the next reality TV star and from then on the next bollywood king. While the playing field has been levelled, there is no sifting to find who is really worthy of the time and attention.

Coming back to the stars, the biggest problem, is the PR machinery. While PR is supposed to signify a public relations team/ person, facilitating a smooth interaction with the person they represent, instead they end up being a method to put up a wall of falsehood around the star. The PR person is either a mouthpiece for the star’s inane demands (which they cannot ask for directly) or is a filter through which the star is approached – with the normal problems of Chinese whispers, inaccurate depiction and ego hassles. You have to first pander to the PR person’s ego and then pander to that of the star. But before that, you need to be able to access the PR person. In most cases, the PR person is so busy (either taking up too many stars are one time or simply pretending to ignore calls that they are just not up to taking) that you need to go through hell to get one simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ out of them. If the process involves getting approvals/ agreement from the star, one can just forget it ever happening. The PR people can be vindictive, rude, dishonest, unavailable and deeply inefficient. It is possible the stars would never know that their PR people are actually giving them a bad rep and dissing them to the media. Or maybe, the stars know, because that’s exactly who they are?

The tables have truly turned. At one point of time, the stars needed the media, and made themselves available to them. Now, apparently, the media needs the stars, and they have to cater to their every inane demand to get a story. Every little wannabe actor, one-movie-old or debuting wants to be on magazine covers. But no one stops to ask themselves – ‘what have I done to merit it?’ And where is the sanctity of true media and journalism, if the media is willing to stoop to all levels to cater to them? Is the pen mightier than the star, or the other way around?

Here’s a another twist in the saga. Stars have now begun to talk to their fans directly. The media and the PR person have been thus circumvented with blogs and twitter. Fans know exactly what their star is doing at any time of the day, what they are thinking/ feeling. What value can media add to a person who is already baring all? The mystery, the art of conversation – taking the time to get to know the reclusive star and drawing them out to bare all, may just fade into oblivion. The changes that we are witnessing show the death of old fashioned celebrity interviews, democracy and independence of the media; and transparency and honesty of the PR person.

the wired generation

15 Tuesday Sep 2009

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Thoughts

so as Sahil observed this morning, the generation next is truly a wired generation. if we are able to finish a task in seconds, when earlier it would take hours, that should automatically make our lives much simpler, easier and give us more free time, right? Wrong. We pack more into a day, multi-tasking faster and often remain connected outside work, just because we can. That means our mind is constantly switched on and churning data. Instead of making our lives simpler and easier, technology has obviously made our lives more complicated. Can’t live with, can’t live without?

generation gap

13 Sunday Sep 2009

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Generation Gap, Thoughts

So in conversation at lunch today, I discovered that it’s very easy to map a sociological downturn to a more materialistic and individualistic state that we are in today (obviously generalising):

1. Independence Generation: All they wanted was self-respect and freedom to be themselves. Their desire extends to the entire nation and community. There is no sense of Self and a deeply ingrained sense of values and responsibility towards a greater good.

2. Post-independence Generation: It was all about the simple things in life: roti, kapda aur makaan. There is a greater thought towards family and society, with a continuance of the value-system of the past. There is a negative qualification for those who are willing to drop this value-system to move forward into a materialistic route.

3. Industrial Generation: It was a time to sow the seeds to prosperity – work hard, save really hard, dream of that one vacation of a lifetime and a good retirement. It was an itch towards a comfortable life. Their desire is just for a better life for their family, with a great deal of dependence on the extended family, social groups and other social circles of influence. Values remain, but they are beginning to get diluted by the pressure of responsibility to provide for those around.

4. The Wealth-creator Generation: They thought about true wealth generation for the future generations. They also worked hard, but began to indulge – in the little luxuries that they had so far not been privy to. They are the last pure-breed example of stoic ‘follow-in-the-footsteps-of-your-father’ generation. Their circle of influence extends to the extended family and friends, with the beginnings of the Self philosophy. Values have begun to lose meaning in business and they are kept merely for personal life: where virtuosity is still in demand.

5. The Wealthy Generation: They are born into a comfortable life. They are the ones who studied abroad and began to realise the fact that they have career choices. They are the go-getters. Those that are not born into comfort, choose it as a career option with pvt sector jobs that give them more money than their grandfathers had in a lifetime. More choices and the drive to succeed very quickly create more anxiety and stress. There are two kinds of people here – the people who live off the forefathers’ sucesses and those who take different career options to create/build the next big thing. They work hard, party hard and look for a perfect work-personal life balance. For them it is about the self, immediate family and close friends. The extended family and society are not of particular consequence. Values are also a matter of choice and convenience.

6. Generation Next: This is a very exacting generation. It is a generation that spends money faster than it can be made, and looks for shortcuts to success. They have seen great wealth, and are familar with deep materialism. Everything can be quanitfied in terms of money or social markers and values are not of great/any consequence. It is a generation that expects instant gratification, without having to work hard for it. It is all about the Self and there is no sense of apology. There is no desire to think or consider anyone else. There is complete loss of value-systems and there is no desire to put up a front to prove anything.

writer’s blog

12 Saturday Sep 2009

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Thoughts, Writing

I mean writer’s block – can’t you see? what can be worse than having a deadline and having writer’s block at the same time? Try as I might I can’t make it sound any better than it does right now, and right now it’s shitty. It isn’t what I intended, it isn’t what I wanted and it isn’t worth reading. And someone else could’ve done it better. It’s a fix I can;t get out of, it’s a place I am in, and it’s a situation that just gets succeddingly worse. And it;s in my head. The question is, how does one get it onto paper?

a tryst with the kremlin. russia part 1

10 Thursday Sep 2009

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Russia

so russia. it was (ahem, is) another world altogether. People from Moscow have something seriously serious about them – like they aren’t happy with their lives and are rudely shocked when someone else appears to be. It’s really expensive to get a genuine smile from them, or any kind of smile at that. It’s more likely that you will get a rude brush-off or you would be treated like a fly on the wall – best ignored or rather swatted away.

The Red Square is very red – in a brickky sort of way – and very cool. GUM – the state department store converted into a mall known better for its architectural feats than shopping, and maybe for its cute little food court, is fun – particularly when juxtaposed against the imposing Kremlin and Lenin’s tomb (which actually has a line that stretches a mile – really – to see a guy engulfed in his own doings).

The Kremlin is actually beautiful – lovely buildings, a host of architectural styles and lovely landscaped gardens. It takes a while to see it all, and it hardly seems real: that is was once the seat of global power. The city is large, very large, but the red square area is really the best part of town, particularly at night – all lit up and sparkly. You can be a real tourist and sit in front of the Kremlin and eat at a café that is a part of a huge consumerist mall. The communists would have balked, Lenin’s probably turning in his tomb….

stuck in a plague

27 Monday Jul 2009

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Thoughts

monotony is a plague – of the mind, of the senses and of human talent. even the most exciting places, jobs or people get monotonous after a point of time and it becomes impossible to grow within that self. to shrug a way of life that has become familiar and dependable takes guts – but it is the only way to steer clear of a rut. i believe that we have something extraordinary that lies within us – something that must be tapped into, explored and when given free rein to, becomes something that revolutionises, if not the world, then at least our own selves. it is painful to see greatness die – as it dies every single day within the minds and talent that remains untapped and unexplored. we are unfortunately happy being ordinary. that choice defines who we are. being ordinary is a state of mind, not a circumstance of birth. lets break free to do something that defines us, that explores who we can be, rather than what we settle to become.

Ponder…Read!

02 Thursday Jul 2009

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Reading, Videos

people pop into my life, drop a few notes, suggest a few reads, and change my life irrevocably.

Lunch with FT: Manolo Blahnik possibly the best interview i have read in a very long time – excellent piece of writing!

Really beautiful story…

Very few videos can inspire you like this one can. It really makes you think a million times about what is important in life.

Dancing Matt – he’s funny, lively and doing nothing but being himself.

In Memoriam – An issue that commemorated the 26/11 Mumbai tragedy with fiction, poetry, art, essays, photoscapes and features…. To ensure that we never forget that is it only we who can make a change.

Dubai – the flip side. It is shocking, it is dramatic and it is real.

For Sound of Music lovers – it will make you super happy!

Cool wedding video – now this is the way to do it!

Pritish Nandy’s column on The New Politics of Austerity on mark. For his other columns: Rediff Blog

Amusing baby videos:

  1. – baby blood
  2. – charlie bit my finger
  3. http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf – will ferrel video

the convenience of love or love in a LV bag

21 Sunday Jun 2009

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luxurybrands, romance, Thoughts

if you really think about it, love marriages can be as much of a compromise as an arranged marriage. if you marry for love, then, unless you are really lucky, everything else is a compromise.

if you marry for material satisfaction, then unless you are very lucky, love is a compromise.

the bottom line, life is a compromise. the only difference being, you choose your compromises.

in fact, life has come a full cycle. If you go back in time you would realise that marriages were arranged – for the best possible choice, with often no choice in the matter. Soon after, the next generation adopted the concept of love marriages – where love mattered more than the options it came with (or at least we hope so, it is indeed massive generalisation). And now, we see an era of mad love taking place in the younglings (a mere few years younger than us): they are experiencing true love in the louis vuitton.

marriage is now once again a convenience – it is an arrangement of convenient love that comes in the shape, size and price of a (or many a) designer handbag. the mantra: “he does love me so, he always buys me the best!” if we need a brand to define who we are, then we do indeed suffer from distastrously low self-esteem.

Who we are is and shall not be determined by who or what we wear, carry or hang out with – it should be something that emanates from us – a greater sense of being, a whole person. if you were to be remembered, how do you think people would describe you? With or without your handbag?

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