Author Archives: sitanshi talati-parikh

the power to be who you want to be

23 Saturday Jan 2010

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Somewhere along the way, we have lost our identity, our individuality. we have lost a sense of whom we want to be or what drives us. because we are so scared of – what others will think about us, whether we will live up to others’ expectations, whether we will be able to fulfil our own and others’ dreams with that vision, with the fear of failing, with the fear of not being secure.

Three things led to the creation of this blog post – reviews of the Three Idiots movie, Robert Kiyosaki’s latest Be Rich & Happy, and my entrepreneur-husband Sahil.

It started with the 3i movie… i kept reading reviews tweeted by people about how the movie is brilliant, about how chetan bhagat has been wronged, about how the movie sucks because it sells dreams not reality, about how chatur is the real hero, and we shouldn’t laugh at him, because we are laughing at ourselves, we are all Chaturs. And in there lies the flaw and the brilliance of the movie. This is where 3i is bigger and more meaningful than Bhagat’s story can ever be. It is the triumph of vision, of course, but over that it is the triumph of the makers in bringing us in uncomfortable touch with the Chaturs in ourselves. However much of a dreamer, a visionary and a non-comformist you are, there is a Chatur in you and a Chatur in the people around you, who pull you down, who want you to to conform. As someone rightly points out, 1 visionary needs a 100 Chaturs to do the hard work. Agreed. But that doesn’t mean you don’t give people the chance to dream big, to be their own visionary. Just because we want those 100 Chaturs doesn’t mean we selfishly take away the power to make them understand what they are missing if they remain Chatur.

The next point is that Chatur is successful in his own way – he did make it. Yes, but he achieved the obvious, materialistic and conformist road to success – the kind that makes us selfish, capitalistic and greedy individuals, who cannot appreciate thinkers and visionaries, who evaluate success in terms of net worth. There is nothing wrong with being Chatur – we are not ones to decide which path is right and wrong. What we do know is that we need to keep the passion and fire alive and burning, we need to accept that if we have a greater calling, we may need to chose to not conform to societal norms. We need to accept those who are trying to do something different, because there is no right and wrong path, and nothing can be evaluated on the basis of a paycheck. If you have the right values, the right belief and the passion, success WILL find you. You don’t need to chase it. You just need a little faith. In yourself. The kind that Rancho was trying to get us to have.

Robert Kiyosaki of the Rich Dad Poor Dad fame, in his own capitalist way, tries to get the Chaturs to not conform and not live life based on that mindless paycheck. That has what has killed the US economy and it will kill Asia too, if we forget what’s important. Invest in yourself (in your vision) and if you have the right beliefs, with the right ideas and you will be rich and happy. It’s too simplistic in its current form, but the bottomline works – you need to steer clear of the rat race to build something big, to dream big. It questions the conventional notions of ’security’ of the parrot people who live on the rat tracks.

Sahil, my entrepreneur-husband, has done the job-route. He knew he would not be happy until he followed his dream to own his own company. He’s living his dream. But his friends, in cushy jobs and family businesses are obviously more ‘settled’ than he is. He is still in startup stage. Long hours, managing his own team…it’s a quiet pressure that comes along with being a risk-taker, along with following your dream. There are those who admire him for taking the tougher route. There are others who suggest that he should quit while he is ahead and find something ’safe’ where he can manage his life with a steady income. Who’s the correct one here? The most interesting example is that of an entrepreneurial family friend, who suggests that maybe Sahil should consider alternate forms of income because at this stage he should be ‘settled’. He points out that his own son, has a great cushy job, a 401k and a nice nest egg already – that is the right path. It is a great path for some. Not for those who think about building something bigger than they are, something that will live on when they are no longer there, for those who have a vision and just need the strength and the patience to see it through, and the courage to accept failure and the renewed vision to start again, if required.

I’ve noticed that there will be many who will question you in life, who will judge you and who will think they have a better solution for being you than you do. If they are not you, they cannot be you. Only you have the power to be you. The problem arises when you think or give others the power of attorney to your life and mind. That is scary. It is as if you have allowed society and others who don’t understand your vision to enter your mind and heart and take over. The proverbial serpent will twist you into such a frenzy that you stop thinking clearly, you lose focus of your vision.

It is important to realise that there is no formula in life. What works for someone – it’s great, I’m happy for you – but it may not work for me/you. It may not make me happy. And at the end of the day, I have to live with myself, sleep with my thoughts, and walk in my own shoes, not yours.

survival of the tastiest

27 Sunday Dec 2009

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i have yet to understand meat-eating pet-lovers. i haven’t really reconciled to meat eaters to start with, but what’s the scene with non-vegetarians loving their pets? they bathe them and care for them as if they are their own kids, even more than their kids. americans may forgo a meal to go that extra mile for their pet. but they wont forgo meat on their table. while food choices are up to the individual, i find it painful that people with the power of greater understanding and empathy, who don’t do things merely for survival, would willingly choose to cause so much pain to another living thing simply to satisfy their taste buds. the way animals are farmed, the way they are created and tortured, it would make anyone shudder with repulsion. but when the meat it tasty, who cares about how it was created, right? Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Meat raises pertinent questions…and the New Yorker has done a good job of presenting the case for the book. http://3.ly/meat

While I know not everyone can become a vegetarian or vegan, it helps if people think twice about cruelty to all animals, not just their household pet.

While cosmetic testing on animals is banned, and Legally Blonde 2 presented one helluva case, what about the billions of animals that are tortured and dying every day to make for an appetising entree? Cruelty takes place in many ways, and its important to start looking at the mass killing that you might be perpetuating, while ignorantly giving your pet a bath with scented oil.

And if you must eat meat, why not your pet? Its easier to kill and eat a stranger, is that it? So should mass homicide be pardoned, if a person is very loving to his/her immediate family?

death comes in threes, with an unexpected act of kindness

23 Wednesday Dec 2009

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from the time someone told me that death comes in threes, the morbid part of my mind began watching out for it. one down, two to go etc. i mean not that i wanted it, more like fearful anticipation. the theory hasn’t failed me so far. its been a few years.

today, however i realised that i havent been looking for the unexpected, only for the fearfully expected. every time something darkens your universe, something or someone comes along to brighten it. it can be a smile, a caring hug, a few kind words, but they mean more than they would on a normal given day. especially if they come from unexpected sources. and sometimes, your personal and professional life collide to the extent that someone from your work existence gets a chance to give you solace or be there for you when you least expect it.

it’s important to remember that kindness/ empathy doesn’t come easy – humans seem to have dropped that natural ability to care for someone outside their direct influence…possibly around the time selfishness became the mantra for survival. in all my times of grief, i thank the people who showed up for me, and hope i can do the same sometime, somewhere.

not here, not right now

21 Monday Dec 2009

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there’s something about wants. they drive u insane. i mean it could be even just wanting some peanuts to munch on, or living in greece (im retiring in mykonos, and thats a fact.) today, on a monday, i drove to lavasa with my family and friends and it felt nice. but the pressures of the real world kept sliding into my thoughts, and taking away from the present moment. i wistfully held onto the thought of spending a great deal of time in a place like this, far away from the madness of bbay. but that wouldn’t work would it?

it’s human nature to create, generate madness; and human desire to want to escape it. if we stop lying to ourselves, we thrive in our own madness. we wouldn’t last a day in a sanctuary of peace. that in fact, would drive us totally mad. so, in our madness, we find our sanity. if only, we could appreciate the power of now. and enjoy every moment – mad or not, for what it is. The moment we question our happiness, we lose control of our mind. Live now, live free. It is the answer to our future.

Cocktails for a Cause

18 Friday Dec 2009

Posted by in Publication: Verve Magazine, Social Chronicles

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Published: Verve Magazine, Features, December 2009

Three young girls came together to party for a cause – and their friends joined this circle of trust. Now, Partying Against Poverty has three chapters in Mumbai, London and Hong Kong, where youth come together to rock the town while contributing towards eliminating poverty. SITANSHI TALATI-PARIKH uncovers the ingredients that enable people to enrich someone else’s life while dancing and making merry

FOR THOSE BEGINNING TO THINK THAT URBAN SOCIALISING AND endless partying is becoming more banal by the minute, or for those who ever needed a reason to party, raising a few lakhs for a few hours of socialising and dancing sounds like quite the plan. All you need to do is go out and party – the cover you pay for entry (which includes the drinks you would consume) goes straight to a predetermined cause – whether it’s towards charity, for the under-privileged, or a cause to fight a social ill. If a charity ball is the thing for pearl-draped or diamond-dripping middle-aged divas, then partying for a cause is for the 20-something newbies – the kind that lead a privileged life and choose to party at least a few nights a week, and find it convenient to combine philanthropy and a rocking time by partying for a cause. It’s simple and doesn’t have an agenda – and most importantly, doesn’t require the party-goers to make any change in their lifestyle. In fact, it lacks pretension in the most basic sense that a charity ball might have. Namrata Tanna, an initiator of ‘partying for a cause’ in India finds that, “Charitable giving is always looked at as something that is done by the very rich – those who have the means to give back to society. Party Against Poverty (PAP) activates all classes of society as well as the youth of our country and helps them start thinking about what they can do for the underprivileged.”

It is a global concept: in New York partying for a cause finds a masquerade ball sending the proceeds towards The World Race which in turn attempts to fight for the victims of modern-day slavery; in Toronto it sends their partying money to charity – to the tune of $36,000; in Miami parties and concerts send money to cancer patients. It is not one organisation with many worldwide chapters, rather multiple people across cities picking up on this simple and effective concept and making it work for the cause they believe in. In India – more specifically, in Mumbai – three young media professionals, moved by the realities that surrounded them, decided that simply reporting facts wasn’t cutting it for them – they wanted to do something more. This led to the creation of an NGO, Creatives Against Poverty (CAP is currently being registered as a non-profit organisation), which aims to use the collective creative skills of volunteers towards out-of-the-box initiatives that can fund the causes they wish to support.

“WE DON’T ASK PEOPLE TO BECOME SUFFOCATED BY SADNESS AT THE IDEA OF POVERTY; we offer hope that this suffering can be alleviated by something as simple as partying! People like emerging from their plush lifestyle and giving to a community.” – Fatima Najm

Fatima Najm spent a lot of time discussing areas that troubled her with college friend Tanna. CAP fell into place after they began working hands-on on some local initiatives in India and realised that it would be hugely effective to pool creative talent together for a cause. Najm explains, “We started from the premise that everyone is good, everyone wants to make a positive impact and everyone will give their time, energy and skill as long as we create a format that doesn’t detract from their lives – we promise to use only your free and recyclable energy.” They threw the first ‘party against poverty’ bash at Najm’s house in South Mumbai, with the idea of creating nurseries in Mumbai slums from the proceeds. Friends – what Tanna describes as the “circle of trust” – flocked to support them and they realised that they had something very promising on their hands. The second party, also hosted by Najm was for the victims of the Bihar flood. The third party, held at the hip Mumbai nightclub Privé, saw a sizeable turnout, with the aim to create nurseries and scholarships for impoverished students of high potential. The success of the concept in Mumbai led Najm to start a London chapter of CAP – which had its first party against poverty early this year. Tanna continues to head the Mumbai chapter, and Neha Kumar has recently launched a Hong Kong chapter. Najm’s friend and Mumbai-based former model and model coordinator Achla Sachdev was willingly roped in to putting in her time, effort, organisational skills, and is now a key factor in drawing the crowd and media attention for the parties (and their causes) as well. Sachdev realised that the combination of feeling good about contributing while having a good time, is a winning “double whammy.”

The causes are not randomly chosen – rather, the research-based recommendations draw from a journalistic approach to charity, also steering clear of religious issues. Whether it is a single person – like a little girl called Anu who needed the valves in her heart replaced (which they funded by activating willing people who had attended a party against poverty) or Sharifa Khanum who fights for the rights of Muslim women in Tamil Nadu; or locations like the Congo valley (one of their biggest projects) where Najm works with local volunteers to educate and create a life for the impoverished youth of the region, the girls have spent time understanding where the funds collected will be going – by actually speaking to the people they are trying to support. Kumar defines a very clear-cut process-driven approach to tackle the issues that may prop up. “I think the first most challenging thing is to find the right organisation to work with: a lot of them either have high administrative costs or aren’t genuine. Secondly, we spend at least three to six months working with them to ensure that they genuinely do what they claim. After which, we raise awareness among people through photo essays, documentaries and articles in the press. Then comes the actual process of raising funds for the organisation. The challenge sometimes is finding sponsors to enable having a party at cost price so that all of the money raised goes to the charity.”

The organisation is run by affluent people who are only looking to help creatively – they will find just use of your talent and just cause for your money. The fact that the idea germinated from a collaborative friendship, makes it a strong foundation that keeps the fire burning. Tanna agrees, “Collaborating with friends on projects is always a motivation in itself. CAP has no financial backing. Our currency is our positive energy and enthusiasm. Since we share the same ideology we motivate each other to work harder to alleviate poverty and find new and creative methods to help the NGOs we support and keep going.” And they maintain that a 100 per cent of the money raised goes to the cause they have identified. Trust is a huge factor in their working: they are tapping into friends and family who believe in them and their due diligence and in turn, the causes they support.

“IN INDIA CHARITY IS ASSOCIATED WITH SACRIFICE AND PURITANICAL BEHAVIOUR, which is not how it needs to be. There is nothing wrong with going out, drinking, spending money and giving back at the same time. It is the ideal form of capitalism.” – Bharati Thakore

While that’s a great concept in itself, you wonder if people balk at the idea of mixing ‘poverty’ and ‘partying’ into a palatable cocktail. Tanna believes that partying with family and friends is always fun. “While it may seem odd to some that we raise money by partying, I believe that in doing this we have activated members of society who usually give little or no thought to charity to become aware, reflect and contribute in a small way to helping the underprivileged. Party Against Poverty is an unconventional approach to charity – it makes charitable giving fun.” Najm states very simply that they were simply bored of the repetitive partying scene in the city: despite the fact that it was so dynamic, it was purposeless. “We just didn’t feel like dressing up and going to one party after another and shelving the issues that we were confronted with.” But isn’t it intrusive or doesn’t it defeat the purpose of having ‘fun’ to have to deal with depressing or dismal issues while downing a Martini? While Tanna believes that they overtly refrain from an in-your-face attitude about the cause, Najm has stronger views. “We don’t ask people to become suffocated by sadness at the idea of poverty; we offer hope that this suffering can be alleviated by something as simple as partying! People like emerging from their plush lifestyle and giving to a community. We want to tap into the goodwill of our guests, we want to take them into the slums, we use photo essays to open a window into a world where many of our guests many not have the time to go.”

In fact, it is this very tenuous relationship between the rich and the poor that initially bothered Najm. She didn’t want to involve anyone who wanted to throw money at the problem, she wanted people to give time and energy, to interact with the people they were trying to help – “to see how much fun these children can be, how creative, witty and generous, despite the poverty they are surrounded by. I couldn’t help wondering what would happen when we exposed the communities who needed help and nurturing to a world that doesn’t understand their strife? I was afraid that this would invite people with a donor mentality. We are so cushioned in our comfortable existence that our senses have become numb to the poverty that overwhelms our cities and chokes our streets. But the challenge was in putting the solution in a format that was easy to respond to – that is why we chose to party against poverty.”

Speaking to some of the PAP attendees, we realise that they come to party for a cause for a variety of reasons. Bharati Thakore, who runs a production company called Education World Films, heard about PAP through a Facebook invite, and wanted to be a part of it because she figured she would meet like-minded people who believe that philanthropy is important. “Honestly this is the most painless and fun way to contribute!” She elaborates, “Every society, including developed countries of the west has elite epicureans who live the high life because they can afford it. I think it’s a different way to get people to perform an act of kindness. In India charity is associated with sacrifice and puritanical behaviour, which is not how it needs to be. There is nothing wrong with going out, drinking, spending money and giving back at the same time. It is the ideal form of capitalism.”

Rachna Sheth, an HR professional joined PAP because she was a friend of one of the founders. Sheth admits that she did feel weird initially – partying to pay for those who can’t afford a square meal. “But, at the end of the day, PAP to me means doing something ordinary and still feeling extraordinary about it.” Juan Katrak, involved in event management and PR, also got roped in wanting to support his friend in the venture. He hasn’t observed people feeling overly bothered by the duality of the concept. “I would be lying if I said I felt weird, because we party every week, irrespective of whether it is for a cause or not. But PAP generates a good feeling – because I know I am helping out – even if the cause for which I am partying is not too evident at that time.”

Whatever the reason may be that brings the night-owls out in their finery to prowl the racy streets of the chic metros, the important thing to remember here is that they are contributing – whether in a deeply heartfelt manner or in a completely irreverent thoughtless fashion – towards enriching someone’s life somewhere in the world. In fact, while having fun with their friends they are actually making the world a better place – one cocktail at a time.

Fatima Najm, 33

Background Human rights journalism. Has worked as a reporter for the Toronto Star, Women’s Own magazine in Karachi and for Arab News in Saudi Arabia for nearly a decade on the human rights beat, besides having traversed countries activating social awareness.
Aim “We are a coalition of creative individuals who donate skills for social impact, nurturing ideas and turning those ideas into concrete action to alleviate the suffering of the voiceless communities we are confronted with.”
If not a part of CAP, she would be…“still engaged in committing human rights journalism.”
Moved by “The providing of opportunity. You can feed someone, you can clothe them but if you can provide an opportunity to them, that is beautiful because then you are offering them dignity, not charity.”
When not partying she…“would be living between the pages of the National Geographic and roaming tribal preserves.”
Desired societal change “My own approach. We have so much to learn from the NGOs we work with on the field.”

Namrata Tanna, 27

Background Television producer. Has worked with Times Now, Sony and BBC London. She makes documentary films on humanitarian issues.
Aim “Activating the inherent goodness that exists in people and using their skills productively to create social impact.”
If not a part of CAP, she would be…“Raising awareness about social injustices across the world through photo essays and documentaries.”
Moved by…“The fact that there are so many people committed to helping those less privileged lead a better life.”
When not partying she…“would be spending time with friends and family, reading and traveling.”
Desired societal change “We don’t aim to change anybody. We aim to create awareness about social issues and through that, hope that our audience starts reflecting on these issues as well as their individual contribution to society.”

Neha Kumar, 29

Background Journalist and writer. Has worked with Bloomberg News, Institutional Investor and Asia Money. Currently works as an editor/writer for a Japanese hedge fund, and also maintains a blog about humanitarian issues.
Aim “Make a change in someone’s life – bring back their aspirations and desires.”
Pet cause Youth Progressive Foundation that is setting up a school in the eastern part of Sri Lanka for displaced children.
When not partying she…“would rather be socialising with friends, writing or reading.”
Desired societal change “We hope to bring meaning to their lives by galvanising them to be party warriors.”

Trust-fund Trysts

18 Friday Dec 2009

Posted by in Humour, Publication: Verve Magazine, Social Chronicles

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Published: Verve Magazine, Musings, December 2009

Oh how we long to be young! Ironically, the young long to be mature and sophisticated. Mud wrestles and creamy cakes are not child-friendly anymore – the quotient has been upped with designer parties, kiddie spas and island hopping on private jets. The one-upmanship is like parental roulette and the trust-fund babies hold the strings to throwing a mean party, Russian circus et al, finds SITANSHI TALATI–PARIKH

I COME FROM THE ERA OF BRIGHT balloons, candy floss, Goriawala’s chocolate cake and deliciously buttery Camy wafers. It sounds like a cliché, but I don’t know where in the space of two decades childhood became a cliché and sophisticated maturity became the new youth buzzword. Recently, at a Verve A-lister party, I was amazed to see that these Chanel-bearing, Choo-tapping and Vuitton-wearing younglings (under 25, mind you) carried themselves with an air that made them out to be well beyond their years. They eyed the paparazzi through the fringes of their long masacara-ed lashes, simpered and smiled, posed and pirouetted with feline grace. I was almost embarrassed to think back to the gauche teenager I used to be. Carrie and Samantha – the ultimate echelons of style and sophistication – shared my concern in Sex and the City. Where the Hamptons are taken over by beer-spouting kids and ‘grassy’ romps on the beach, childhood has entirely gone to pot. Besides ruminating on questions like ‘where has the childhood gone?’ and ‘why must everyone be in such a tearing hurry to grow up?’ we arrive at the things people are doing to grow up super fast.

Ever heard of the ‘sparty’? Let’s take it a step further, ever heard of a ‘sparty’ for eight-year-old divas? So, you pick a cool spa like Rudra, Myrah or your favourite deluxe hotel, pack off the little pretty-somethings for a day of relaxation and detoxification – because of course education can be so stressful nowadays. Primping and softening the tresses, pedicures and manicures, will have them looking the best for their play dates. It’s a fabulous way for the little girls to bond and create lasting friendships. After all, every girl worth her bath salt knows that the secrets shared at the most vulnerable – attending to the most exquisite feminine rituals – are secrets that will last a lifetime.

That’s probably still rather tame compared to having an entire Russian circus troupe flown in for a birthday – I mean you can’t get more global than that. But then, Raj Kapoor was a trendsetter in many ways – though the poor chap may be turning over in his grave at the thought of the fresh age group his ideas now cater to. So custom-made Hello Kitty invitations-and-theme-parties probably don’t stand a chance against a Russian circus, but then what are the less fortunate to do?

Pyjama parties – sleepovers – are still in, apparently. It always helps to read the updated fine print – because you might find your knickers in a twist when you realise that sleepovers come with a spanking new avatar. I may have studied at a co-educational school, but believe me, my mother would have not stood for mixed-sex sleepovers without parental control (she probably wouldn’t have stood for it even with parental control). The buzz is in on a recent sleepover of seven-year-old boys and girls at a premium luxury hotel: a heavy-duty suite booked to accommodate the growing demands of the kids, who probably enjoyed an out-of-control and slightly racier version of not-so-Home-Alone part deux. I’m guessing they weren’t just painting toenails, or is that just me?

For the concerned parents who prefer chaperoned luxe, they are careful to plan a trip for the mommies as well as their darlings – all flown out to an exotic locale – logistically preferably to a nearby country, like Koh Samui, in Thailand – to bring in the birthday of their special little someone amid Thai massages and palate-stinging curries. To be honest, however, birthday bashes at luxury hotels are passé unless they happen to be an entire island – secluded and completely private. American reality show Paradise Hotel comes alive with a private jet flying the closest friends of the 16-and-18-year-olds to the Vivanta Coral Reef (by Taj), Maldives – the latest hip resort perfect for the swish set to unwind with tantalising curry Martinis. The new avatar of the resort sits well with those willing to party hard rather than just sunbathe. The long weekend is sunny and bright: with a private cruise liner floating around, just waiting to be boarded and there is no better way to get the perfect tan that will be flaunted when back in the city.

iPhone-wielding kids in the age group of four-10 are generally used to being cajoled with TAG Heuer watches and Mercedes cars – because toys and books just don’t cut it anymore. BlackBerry phones are the order of the day for the busy eight-year-olds because they can always get a ‘BlackBerry thumb’ massage to release the stress from their little fingers at a ‘sparty’ later. And the outfits are chosen with determined precision and care – a pre-planned outing to Emporio in Delhi (or the equivalent in your urban centre) is required to make the spectacularly difficult decision between a chic Moschino and Marc Jacobs outfit for the little one who has about a decade to go before her debut into haute society.

So it is not exactly surprising that these kids as teenagers frequent hip nightclubs for their exclusive private parties – tables booked, champagne flowing, and an open tab running – where the kids I’ve seen, look no older than 12. Okay, they’re probably 14 or 15. Where celebratory escapades to Alibaug homes, on daddy’s private jets to Jaipur, Goa beach houses and Ibiza raves are the flights of fancy, I’m guessing this is the point where parents stop being too concerned about their ‘naïve’ kids taking a wrong turn when headed abroad – like making headway during Spring Break at a Cancun foam party or breaking the ice when at a semester-at-sea course.

At the end of the day, it’s not just about throwing the party of the century. The cyberworld, paparazzi and glossy magazines should all be buzzing with reverential whispers of your budding creative genius. In whichever way you choose to package your baby’s luxe bash (no pressure, of course), ultimately it is merely a test of your imagination, creativity and trust fund that gives it the right touch of extraordinaire. After all, it is going to set the standard for your child’s future endeavours.

drinking humble tea

08 Tuesday Dec 2009

Posted by in Musings

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I think one of the most underrated qualities today is humility, and sincerity. In fact, ironically people attach a premium to cockiness – women find the bad-boy swagger strangely attractive. It doesn’t take much for something to go to your head, to make you think – whether it stems from confidence or insecurity – that you are the shit. That the world revolves around you, and life happens because you exist. Everyone has some role to play in life – on a stage, there is a drama to be staged. If one can accept that we are all learning, every single day, from so many others, we would always drink humble tea.

It’s not really about who you are or what you have or who you know. It’s really about what you do with it. You can be the biggest star and have the humility and grace to not have any airs and graces, no pretentions and truly be normal. That doesnt make you less of a star, it just makes you more real, more likeable and more appreciated. It is refreshing to see that, and the cynics find it tough to believe it. The cynic in me has been squashed today – for once.

Fame and money, are so dangerous – they are an addiction. The high gives you the impression that you own the world, that the world lies at your beck and call. It is that illusion of immortality that needs to vanish, before your life falls around you like a pack of cards. Remember Scarface? It’s so heady, being considered important, wanted and admired; that when life changes, it’s incredibly tough to deal with.

If someone in a relative seat of power can remain grounded, all battles have already been won. You don’t need the cup then, the saucer will do just fine.

greed drives ambition, gathering mossy dirt

05 Saturday Dec 2009

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It’s not what I am doing, it what I am not doing. Is that ambition or greed? Where do satisfaction/ contentment end and a lack of drive begin? I guess it’s also about personal goals – if u are only working towards your own satisfaction that equals greed eventually, but if your goal is greater than yourself, it’s about humanity and to make the world a better place that would never be too much. Finding a deeper goal in life is what makes it worthwhile. It’s quite pointless otherwise. But what if you spend your whole life, waiting for that deeper goal? You tried with a vague end and no means. While you are trying you wonder what drives you.

How much is enough? How much will you push someone for greater targets and goals? There’s a fine line between full potential and stress from impossible targets. Impossible to draw the line. One person’s ambition is another person’s greed. One person’s complacency is another person’s contentment.

Everything in life is so relative, that one wonders who defined what works and what doesn’t? If humans have the capacity to err, then they may have erred about a lot of things. And we follow them blindly. Religion being a prime example of blind faith. If we just put blind faith in principles and ethics, and less into rituals and false moralising, it would be so much easier to accept people, life and situations. Most fights revolve around the most pointless of things. What is fundamentalism, if not a highly misguided premise that you are right and someone else is wrong? Who defines this for us? Why can’t there be multiple rights and multiple wrongs? After all, that’s what quantum science would like us to believe – that reality exists at multiple levels, time is just a thought and existence is relative.

Everywhere in life, there is a fine line between what’s good and bad – unfortunately most people have crossed the line so early and so thoughtlessly that the line isn’t visible to them anymore. Let’s stop, consider, let be, and let go. Let be all that doesn’t really matter and work on what does. How much energy do we waste on things that are supremely unimportant, that we wouldn’t even think about tomorrow? Simply because it exists now and maybe irritates us now? As Sahil says, if every time we are annoyed, mad, or confused, if we stop to reconsider if this will matter tomorrow or in a year or even in 5 years, it really won’t seem so important.

We often spend more time worrying about the consequences, when they haven’t really happened. But, living life in the way it is, takes away a bit of the drama, now, doesn’t it?

resisting change and plateau-ing lives

01 Tuesday Dec 2009

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The burnout rate is pretty darn high. I mean we haven’t even got to achieving our goals and we are ready to retire – the glass beach house in Mykonos is calling. I don’t know whether it is the burning ambitions, the high level of connectivity, the deep need to get ahead or simply a desire to resist change, that people can’t last out in jobs, in relationships, and suffer from ADD. I do know that we are all desperate for a simpler life, a life that is less full, less complicated, less involved. December gets to me – the need to represent society and yourself everywhere is just intolerable. the need to be a successful Type-A is painful. The need to make everyone happy is difficult. And in the midst of it all, finding yourself is impossible. Who are we, and where are we headed? The eternal existential question hounds me. Recently at an interview with a young Bollywood star, I was humourously reprimanded for not thinking ‘facts’ and thinking about the things we can’t control – it reminded me yet again, how much time we waste is worrying about what lies ahead, and simply, not living in the moment. No fear, no worry, no angst can touch you if you live with the facts and live in the present. But then, life would be so bland without all the drama, right? Life is an existential drama and we are simply enacting the scenes. And to, stage left, scene two.